Dream Together
How to Set Goals for Your Relationship in the New Year
The start of a new year is a time for setting goals, dreaming big, and planning for the future. While personal resolutions often take center stage, setting goals as a couple can be just as transformative. Working toward shared goals strengthens your connection, aligns your priorities, and fosters a sense of partnership that carries you through the ups and downs of life.
In this blog post, we’ll explore how to set meaningful relationship goals, offer practical examples, and share tips for working together to achieve them.
Why Setting Goals as a Couple Is Important
Creating shared goals isn’t just about accomplishing tasks; it’s about building a stronger, more intentional relationship. Here’s why it matters:
1. Strengthens Connection
When you dream and plan together, you deepen your understanding of each other’s hopes, desires, and values. This shared vision strengthens your bond and creates a sense of teamwork.
2. Promotes Growth
Setting goals encourages both individual and relational growth. By working together toward common aspirations, you create opportunities to learn, adapt, and grow as a couple.
3. Builds Alignment
Goals help you align your priorities and ensure that you’re moving in the same direction. Whether it’s financial planning, parenting strategies, or lifestyle changes, goal-setting fosters clarity and reduces potential conflicts.
4. Creates Lasting Memories
Achieving goals as a couple often leads to shared experiences and meaningful memories. The journey toward your goals can be as rewarding as reaching them.
How to Set Goals for Your Relationship
Setting relationship goals is a collaborative process that requires open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to dream big. Here’s how to do it:
1. Reflect on the Past Year
Start by looking back at the previous year. Ask yourselves:
What worked well in our relationship?
What challenges did we face, and how did we handle them?
What moments brought us the most joy?
Reflecting on these questions helps you identify strengths to build on and areas for improvement.
2. Identify Your Individual and Shared Values
Take time to discuss your individual values and how they align as a couple. Understanding what matters most to each of you will help you set goals that reflect your shared vision.
3. Create a Mix of Goals
Aim for a balance of short-term and long-term goals, as well as fun and practical goals. This keeps the process engaging and ensures that you’re addressing different aspects of your relationship.
4. Be Specific and Realistic
The best goals are specific, measurable, and achievable. Instead of saying, "We want to spend more time together," try, "We’ll have one distraction-free date night every week."
5. Write Them Down
Document your goals so you can revisit them throughout the year. Whether it’s a shared journal, a vision board, or a digital list, writing them down makes them feel tangible and keeps you accountable.
Examples of Relationship Goals
Not sure where to start? Here are some examples of goals to inspire your own:
Communication Goals
Have a weekly check-in to discuss feelings, needs, and schedules.
Practice active listening during disagreements.
Read a book on relationships together and discuss what you learn.
Quality Time Goals
Plan one date night each week, free from distractions.
Take a weekend trip to a place you’ve both wanted to visit.
Start a new hobby or class together, like cooking or dancing.
Financial Goals
Create a budget and stick to it.
Save for a shared goal, like a vacation or a new home.
Pay off a specific amount of debt by the end of the year.
Health and Wellness Goals
Exercise together three times a week.
Cook healthy meals at home most nights of the week.
Support each other in achieving personal fitness goals.
Intimacy Goals
Schedule time for physical intimacy (define what intimacy means to you), even during busy weeks.
Share daily acts of affection, like hugs, kisses, or compliments.
Explore new ways to connect emotionally and physically.
Personal Growth Goals
Encourage and support each other’s individual passions and projects.
Attend a workshop or seminar together to grow as a couple.
Practice self-care routines that help you show up as your best self in the relationship.
Tips for Achieving Your Goals
1. Work as a Team
Approach your goals with a sense of partnership. Celebrate wins together and support each other through challenges.
2. Be Flexible
Life is unpredictable, and it’s okay if goals need to be adjusted along the way. Stay open to revisiting and revising your goals as circumstances change.
3. Celebrate Milestones
Acknowledge and celebrate progress, no matter how small. Recognizing your achievements keeps you motivated and reinforces your commitment.
4. Hold Each Other Accountable with Kindness
Check in regularly to see how you’re doing with your goals. Offer gentle reminders and encouragement rather than criticism.
Dream Big, Start Small
Setting goals as a couple is an act of love and intention. It shows that you value your relationship and are committed to growing together. As you enter the new year, take the time to dream big, plan together, and take small steps toward a stronger, more connected partnership.
As a couples therapist based in Lakeland, Florida, I offer personalized counseling services to help couples strengthen their relationships. If you feel that professional help could benefit your relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out! If you're looking for something more personalized, I invite you to contact me for a consultation or book a session. Together, we can work towards building a more intentional and fulfilling relationship.
Written By: Crystin Nichols MS, RMFTI
