Do You Know Your Partner’s Love Language?
Reassess and Reconnect in 2025
As we welcome the new year, it’s the perfect time to reflect on how we connect with our loved ones. Relationships are built on connection, and understanding your partner’s love language is one of the most effective ways to nurture that bond. The five love languages—developed by Dr. Gary Chapman—offer a simple yet powerful framework for expressing and receiving love in a way that resonates deeply.
But here’s the thing: love languages can evolve over time. What made your partner feel loved five years ago might not hold the same significance today. That’s why reassessing your love languages at the start of a new year can breathe fresh energy into your relationship.
What Are the Five Love Languages?
For those unfamiliar, the five love languages describe the primary ways people feel loved and appreciated:
Words of Affirmation: Verbal expressions of love, appreciation, and encouragement.
Acts of Service: Actions that demonstrate care, like doing chores or running errands.
Receiving Gifts: Thoughtful tokens that show love and effort.
Quality Time: Focused, undivided attention.
Physical Touch: Affection through touch, such as hugs, hand-holding, or cuddling.
Each person has a primary love language that makes them feel most loved, though secondary languages often play a role as well.
Why Reassess Your Love Languages?
Just as people grow and change, so do their emotional needs. A love language that once felt deeply fulfilling might no longer resonate as strongly, especially after major life events like becoming parents, moving, or changing careers.
Revisiting your love languages allows you to reconnect with your partner’s current needs and ensure that your efforts to express love are landing where they matter most.
How to Discover (or Rediscover) Your Love Languages
1. Take the Love Languages Quiz
If it’s been a while, start by taking the love languages quiz together. You can find it online for free, and it’s a fun activity that provides valuable insights into your emotional preferences.
2. Reflect on the Past Year
Ask each other questions like:
What made you feel most loved this past year?
Were there moments when you felt disconnected or unloved?
Is there something you wish I did more often?
These questions can help you uncover shifts in your partner’s emotional needs.
3. Observe Patterns
Pay attention to how your partner naturally expresses love to you, as it often mirrors how they want to receive love. For instance, if they frequently compliment you, words of affirmation might be their primary love language.
Practical Ways to Speak Your Partner’s Love Language
Once you’ve reassessed your love languages, it’s time to put that knowledge into action. Here are examples of how to incorporate each love language into your daily life:
Words of Affirmation
Send your partner a heartfelt text during the day.
Compliment them on something specific, like their kindness or how they handled a tough situation.
Say "I love you" regularly and with sincerity.
Acts of Service
Surprise them by taking care of a chore they dislike.
Prepare their favorite meal without being asked.
Offer to help with a project they’re working on.
Receiving Gifts
Pick up a small, meaningful gift just because.
Leave a thoughtful note with a little treat on their pillow or desk.
Create a scrapbook or photo album of your favorite memories together.
Quality Time
Plan a date night with no distractions (phones off!).
Spend a weekend afternoon doing an activity they enjoy.
Take a walk together and really listen to what’s on their mind.
Physical Touch
Hold their hand while watching TV.
Give them a back rub after a long day.
Greet them with a hug and kiss every morning and evening.
How This Can Transform Your Relationship
Understanding and speaking each other’s love languages fosters deeper intimacy, reduces misunderstandings, and strengthens your emotional connection. By reassessing your love languages at the start of the year, you’re setting the tone for a year filled with intentional love and mutual appreciation.
This new year, make it a priority to reconnect with your partner in the way that matters most to them. Take the time to reassess your love languages, have meaningful conversations, and intentionally express your love every day.
Here’s to a year of deeper connection, greater understanding, and a love that grows stronger with time!
As a couples therapist based in Lakeland, Florida, I offer personalized counseling services to help couples strengthen their relationships. If you feel that professional help could benefit your relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out! If you're looking for something more personalized, I invite you to contact me for a consultation or book a session. Together, we can work towards building a more intentional and fulfilling relationship.
Written By: Crystin Nichols MS, RMFTI
